July 6, 2025
When You Dare to Believe You Matter, Everything Changes with Sue Bowles
Send us a text What happens when traumatic experiences shape your early life? Can you truly heal and help others find their path to wholeness? Master life coach Sue Bowles answers these questions with raw honesty and hard-won wisdom in this powerful conversation. Sue courageously shares her journey as a childhood rape survivor who kept her trauma secret for 15 years, leading to struggles with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and an eating disorder. Yet her story doesn't end with survival—it t...
What happens when traumatic experiences shape your early life? Can you truly heal and help others find their path to wholeness? Master life coach Sue Bowles answers these questions with raw honesty and hard-won wisdom in this powerful conversation.
Sue courageously shares her journey as a childhood rape survivor who kept her trauma secret for 15 years, leading to struggles with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and an eating disorder. Yet her story doesn't end with survival—it transforms into a mission to help others rewrite their narratives.
"Who I am is a child of God who has hung on to the coattails of faith," Sue explains, drawing a crucial distinction between identity and experience that forms the foundation of her approach to healing. This perspective has carried her through unimaginable challenges, including the loss of both parents within a short timeframe.
As an ACC-certified master life and mental health coach, Sue clarifies the difference between counseling (addressing past issues affecting your present) and coaching (focusing on your present to shape your future). She works with clients on boundaries, communication, relationships, and managing anxiety before it becomes clinically significant—always putting their needs first, even referring them to therapists when appropriate.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Sue discusses her mission to break mental health stigma, particularly among Christians. Drawing from biblical examples including Jesus's own anxiety in Gethsemane, she makes a compelling case that addressing mental health struggles is deeply compatible with faith.
At the heart of Sue's work is her "Dare to Believe Movement," centered on a fundamental question: "Do I believe that I matter?" As she powerfully states, "Until you can say in a solid bedrock foundation way that yes, I believe in me, permanent life change cannot and will not happen."
Whether you're struggling with your own trauma, supporting someone through theirs, or simply interested in the intersection of mental health and faith, Sue's insights offer practical wisdom and genuine hope. Visit SueBowles.com to connect with Sue, sign up for her weekly "Hump Day Help" texts, or explore her books and coaching services.
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Love & Light - Keep Hope Alive
Chapters
00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
03:17 - Sue's Journey and Childhood Trauma
05:17 - From Trauma to Author and Coach
09:20 - Writing a Book and Self-Publishing
12:26 - Life Coaching and Mental Health
19:30 - Navigating Grief and Recording Memories
26:17 - The Dare to Believe Movement
31:25 - Future Plans and Final Thoughts
Transcript
WEBVTT
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hello and welcome.
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To keep hope alive.
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I have sue bowls with us.
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She is an author, speaker and master life coach and we're going to dive in to interviewing.
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So welcome here for the podcast and everything.
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We're so happy to have you um, and I'm going to give you guys an update on me really quick.
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I hear it in my voice I am having seizures again and I get about maybe three to five a day and I developed this thing called aphasia and sometimes it's hard or repetitive.
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I just got to take breaks, but I'm not going to let it rule me.
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So Keep Hope Alive is going to go and there's no edits to the way I ever talk.
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Well, let's get started.
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My biggest question is who is Sue?
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Oh, wow, that's a big question right there.
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First of all, may I applaud you for your courage and your vulnerability, to be an example to others, to keep hope alive and to not let life get in the way, cause that's what this whole thing is all about.
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So trudge forward, keep moving.
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I'm excited for you.
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So who is Sue?
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sue, uh, thanks.
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So who is sue?
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Uh, sue, is someone easy one?
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I wish, um.
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I'm someone who's experienced a lot in my life and I've come out the other side where now I am helping others as they deal with their stuff.
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But what's important for me is that what has happened to me, what I've endured, even what I've come through and where I am now, doesn't define me, because those are experiences, those are life circumstances, but it doesn't define me.
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Who I am is a child of God who has hung on to him the coattails of faith is what I call it and I've hung on to him and clung to what I know is true for me, and that is the one thing that has gotten me through.
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What life would say is just way too much.
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I know we'll get into that, but it's important for me to let people know that my identity and who I am is not what I do, it's not what I've overcome, it's who I am, and that is shown by what I do now.
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Oh, that's beautifully said.
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I can't wait to hear more, so yeah.
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But I can't wait to hear more, so yeah, and I can make fun of myself.
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I'm just going to let you talk.
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I know you're an author and speaker, so I guess my question to you is how did you become an author?
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And when did you want to start everything?
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Yeah well, let me back up a little bit and share some of the stories so people understand what I'm referring to.
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I'm a childhood rape survivor.
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I was raped by a classmate when I was seven years old.
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I was enticed into the woods on the school property after school.
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When I was seven years old, I was enticed into the woods on the school property after school, held against my will for 45 minutes, and the last words my perpetrator said to me were don't tell anybody.
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And he went out the other end of the woods.
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I went out the opposite end to where my mom was looking for me and at that point in time, this early seventies, rape was not on the culture, on the radar.
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It wasn't part of culture.
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Nobody knew to ask anything and I didn't know to say anything and unfortunately I kept it a secret for 15 years, into my senior year of college.
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So anyone who has a little bit of understanding of trauma understands that trauma literally rewires your brain and you find different ways of processing things.
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So I didn't have a chance to be a normal kid.
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I went right into survival mode.
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So everything that I experienced from age seven to 18 was through those lenses of survival.
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I only had part of the story.
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I didn't have a full story, so I was telling myself things that weren't true.
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I was believing things that weren't true and I was acting in a way that was indicative that something had happened, but at that time, society still didn't understand it.
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So, within that, I've dabbled with.
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I've struggled with depression, I've struggled with anxiety.
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I've dabbled with cutting Twice.
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I've considered ending my life.
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I am in recovery from an eating disorder.
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My parents divorced after 34 years of marriage.
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At the time of this recording, this is July 2025, I lost mom and dad in two and a half years of each other.
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October 5th 2020 was mom, december 27th 2022 was dad.
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And life happens.
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There's been a lot to endure and for the longest time, I was mad at god.
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I'm a christ follower that is the most important thing, around which everything else revolves and I was hacked off at god and it's called this much.
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I know the space between yeah, and I see the address at the end.
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But the first book I started to write in 2015 was the Rape for the First Time and over four decades after it happened.
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And then, in 2016, I entered recovery from my eating disorder for the first time and that alone is a whole different story.
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But I started writing book in 2015 because part of my recovery in 2014 with dealing with the rape was I went, I attended a retreat called walking stick retreats, and there was a movie out earlier that year called rack muffin which which was based on the life of a late christian musician, rich mullins, and one of the themes of the movie was about the that we wear, you fake it till you make it.
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And the retreat was going deeper into some of these themes.
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So I went to the retreat and I went into that retreat calling myself the holy exception.
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I was starting to implode from work dealing with the rape and I believed the lie that I was too screwed up, too far gone and and a total waste of space.
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And I left that retreat three days later saying and starting to believe Christ not only loves me, he likes me and he's head over heels in love with me.
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And that's what started writing the book.
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It started out as wanting to share things I have learned in my life journey, and each end of each chapter ends with a this much I know, dot, dot, dot.
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A little summary and then it kind of took on a different format.
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It kind of just became cathartic and I started really sharing my story in much deeper detail than I ever had.
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Because what happened in that first retreat is I had to own my story.
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I was in denial about my story and then you, you know, more and more came out.
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The book published in 2019, it won the award in 2020 and um, yeah, it was.
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It's a treasure because it was a chance to really be authentic.
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It's gotten uh, you've got great amazon reviews, and just what I love most are the emails I get.
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I had one person say I don't know if I should hug you, hit you or throw the book out the window because it struck so many nerves for them.
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That was a huge compliment for me, where I talk to people after I'm done speaking at an event and they'll come up and they'll say I've read your book or I heard this, or whatever.
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There are two books that have come out since Breaking the Silence Forces of Survivors, volume one and two.
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Those are anthologies.
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I have a chapter in each one of those and those both become Amazon bestsellers.
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And with all this, to say the power of story Every person has a story and it's the one person, one thing no one can take from you.
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And when we share that story, that's when we give power to it, that's when we take back our power from what the events have taken from us, and it gives permission to other people who might be sharing, might be struggling and are afraid of saying something.
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One of the things for me when Simone Biles came out with her story, it gave me permission to share mine, and now look at what I'm doing as a result of that.
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You see, that's really good.
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I finally wrote a book and it's based on a true story.
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But I hear from other people through my church oh no, you probably don't want to put that out there in the world, and I was like why it will help somebody else.
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So it just sits on my laptop right now and, um, I guess all these people that do the publishing they need thousands of dollars, so I don't even know where to take it right now right, and my books are all self-published and it's a journey in and of itself, but I found an editor on was it thumbtack or I think I think thumbtack and had somebody edit it the first round.
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Edits weren't the best, uh, but I've learned more since.
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Uh, there's, there's a lot you can do for five hundred dollars to get a book out there.
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Uh, and and I, I personally enjoy this, the self-published I just said I can just not retain my rights but share the story that when I feel like I want to share it.
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So yeah, definitely, definitely yeah.
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So there's a course on.
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I think Alexa is hearing me, because Facebook keeps popping up publishers and I was like I looked at one and I just got like turned away from it because they're coming.
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Oh, how can we help you right away?
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And it's just like slow down.
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So I'm just going to sit on that and see other people's experiences and what I can do, so, but that is good.
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Best sellers on Amazon have you done book signings?
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Not anything official.
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I've signed a lot of books.
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I haven't held any official book signings.
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Okay, so we know it's on Amazon.
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Did you put it in any retail places also?
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No, it's only available online.
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Right now, the best good is going to be on my website.
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Actually, I have them all right there.
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I actually have a a supply of all my books right here in my office ready to ship them out.
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So, and again, at the end we can give the website and everything of where they can find, find me and get the books and everything like that, because then, when they order it through my website, I can personally autograph it for them.
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They buy it somewhere else.
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I can't do that I know, are you gonna have an audible version of it um?
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I have thought about that.
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I haven't looked into it a whole lot just yet.
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Uh, it might be something worth doing because it's a definitely there's people like me and so with with aphasia guys, it it's hard for me to read and text people and I mean I'm trying to learn what is needed because a lot of people don't know what it is and stroke victims and and seizure people, they can get aphasia and it's just been hard.
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You know the little things we take for granted.
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So I ask all the time is it audible so I can put my AirPods and listen to it?
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So, yeah, you're inspiring me to look into that more.
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So there you go.
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If I go that route, I'll be sure to let you know.
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Oh, that's cool.
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That's so cool.
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Okay, and I see that you're also a life coach, a master life coach.
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Tell us about all of that.
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Yeah, I am an ACC certified master life and mental health coach now and that ACC is really important because that is a global certification through the International Coaching Federation, which is the gold standard of coaching.
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That means I've gone through rigorous training and mentorship and passed an audio review.
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An audio review and then passed a four hour exam to earn the certification.
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Well, congratulations, that's a huge step.
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So how do you get clients?
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I equated that for you.
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How do I get clients and?
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what well?
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How do you um?
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so yeah oh yeah, uh, I think there's a little bit bit of an internet lag, so, uh, real quick.
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I equate the ACC certification process to, uh, what I went through to get my master's.
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It was that involved and I get clients a number of different ways and a number you know.
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Some people find me on psychology today because I have a master's degree in a counseling related field.
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I was able to appeal to psychology today and they approved me for listing.
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They don't usually take life coaches, but because I have that background in psychology, they approved me, so I'm pretty proud of that.
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So a number of people find me on psychology today.
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Other people find me through my website.
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They'll hear me speak and they say, hey, I want to work with you.
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Other people see me on Facebook a number of different ways.
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I'm on Facebook.
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I'm on YouTube I'm really expanding my YouTube channel and that's been fun.
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So they find me a number of different ways, word of mouth as well.
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So any number of ways.
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I spoke at a retreat, speaking at a retreat here in a couple of weeks.
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I spoke at one last year and somebody approached me eight months a year later and said hey, I remember this, I want to work with you now.
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So any number of different ways.
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That's why I enjoy being out there in the public and just doing speaking and doing podcasts and doing the YouTube, because there are many people out there who want help and don't know how to get it and I'm able to be that for them.
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Let me explain just quickly for your listeners, because there may be somebody listening who is wondering what is life coaching and is that something that could help me?
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I'm not sure about this stuff.
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Counseling and coaching are related and they are different.
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Counseling deals with helping you resolve issues from your past that are still affecting you today.
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Coaching deals it helps you focus on your present to get you to your future.
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So coaches do not diagnose.
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Coaches are not.
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We don't deal with the DSM-5.
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We don't do a lot of those things that counseling does.
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Coaching is goal-oriented, focus-oriented.
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Now, as a mental health coach, I help people who are struggling with things that are affecting their mental health before it becomes a diagnosable mental health issue.
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So I talk a lot with my clients about boundaries, about communication, about relationships, about anxiety, about depression, about time management.
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I work with clients who are switching careers, so I work with a lot of different areas and we head it off before it gets to the point that it's a diagnosable mental health issue of anxiety or depression or anything like that.
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Part of it as well is when I'm talking with a potential client, I do a 15 minute no cost call so we can talk about what the concerns are, what is it they want to achieve and if coaching is right for them.
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There have been times where I need to tell a client that I am not right for you because what you are looking for and the mitigating factors are more something that a therapist and a counseling center are going to help you with.
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But then my obligation, my responsibility to best help that client is to help them find a counselor and I will go, I will help them research right then on the phone call because I want to help that person who has had the courage to reach out for help.
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And just because I'm not the best match doesn't mean they don't deserve help and doesn't mean I can't help them to that degree.
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I agree with that 100%.
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You said something you know communication is very important and with relationships do you get people like married couple I can't talk Married couples come in and try to get help and stuff like that, or boyfriend and girlfriends.
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Yeah, I haven't had married couples yet.
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The probably most significant couple I worked with was a mother-daughter.
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They had a huge falling out around the holidays, around COVID.
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They'd said their relationship was about a 10.
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And when they came to me they said I would say it's about a four and we worked together about two months and at the time when the time they finished coaching, they felt it was back to an eight and they had the tools to be able to get it back back to where they wanted it to be.
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I've heard from them since.
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They are doing very well.
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The relationships have been restored, they're thriving and much of what they were working through was learning how to listen to the other without judgment, without attachment, and that's something I really talk about is the judgments we make in a comment or in what we hear from somebody and how we're interpreting it versus what was actually said.
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That is a real core, key element of communication struggles is intention versus perception and needing to back those out so that you can look at something without the emotional attachment.
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To just see it what I call kind of like a police report just the facts Instead of reading in the judgment and the emotional attachment to something which is attached to your interpretation, which is based on all of your filters, when we were able to back that out and screen that out, we look at just what was the reach of the communication, communication what was said, and then how do you want to respond to that?
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And that was a lot of what I, when I was working with with that couple, and each time they came back and there were some hard conversations, some really hard conversations.
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But once they learned to listen to each other and they were able to really have those hard conversations heart to heart, and some of it was in our calls, I would facilitate some of this hard communication.
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But to hear them doing so well now, and that the grandkids who were kind of I don't want to say victims, but they were being affected by all this, are now thriving and have the relationship with the grandparents.
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It's been really neat to hear.
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That is really good.
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Another big one is grief.
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Have you had any clients with grief?
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Yes, and grief is a tangled web, yes, it's a heavy one.
00:19:56.190 --> 00:20:11.964
Having walked through my own grief, I have learned a lot that I'm able to help with my clients with now, and a lot of it is just that it's okay to not be okay to.
00:20:11.984 --> 00:20:27.159
You know how to work through some of those doubts, some of those what ifs, those woulda, shoulda, coulda, and again kind of not use the woulda, shoulda, coulda as a means to beat yourself up, because that's where people get stuck, but to say, okay, in this situation I did the best with what I had at that point in time.
00:20:27.180 --> 00:20:43.675
Because usually when we're looking at something with woulda shoulda, coulda, we're making a judgment, again that attachment, we're making a judgment on a past situation with our current understanding, and that is not fair to ourselves or the situation.
00:20:43.675 --> 00:21:07.681
So, again, some of working through grief and those struggles that go with that is being able to sort that out a little bit so that the person can can let themselves off their own hook, so they can give themselves a little bit of grace and use it one to bring peace to that place where they're feeling discomfort and a lack of peace, but then also so they can learn those lessons.
00:21:07.681 --> 00:21:11.076
And then, okay, how can we apply this to your, to your relationships now, so that the past does not beat them up?
00:21:11.076 --> 00:21:21.196
Lessons, and then, okay, how can we apply this to your, to your relationships now, so that the past does not beat them up and they're able to use that to better their future?
00:21:22.278 --> 00:21:23.259
yeah, I agree.
00:21:23.259 --> 00:21:31.935
Um, oh, in my break I moved to oklahoma from texas and the church I go to.
00:21:31.935 --> 00:21:40.694
I went to two different ones and I have a lot of people talk about grief on my podcast.
00:21:40.694 --> 00:22:00.147
So I stepped into a grief Wednesday seminar and just listened to hear the stories and everything and it was so good for me because I understand it better.
00:22:00.147 --> 00:22:42.102
And then, unfortunately, right now my father he's declining so I'm trying to be with him more and ask him questions and I don't know there's a company out there that has them fill out like questions for them and I was like that would be really cool because, as I'm hitting almost 50, not quite there yet, but I would like to have that because they want you to carry on the happy moments and remember them for that.
00:22:42.102 --> 00:22:45.054
So, yeah, that was a big one.
00:22:45.054 --> 00:22:51.176
How would everybody listening here get to you?
00:22:51.176 --> 00:22:55.766
What is?
00:22:56.507 --> 00:22:57.347
your website and all those details.
00:22:57.347 --> 00:23:03.759
Yeah, the website is SueBowlescom and if you're, you know the name is spells B-O-W-L-E-S.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:13.993
And if I speak real quick to the one thing about what you said, about what your dad shared, his story I gave my book a book like that, similar to my dad, and he didn't fill out a lot of it.
00:23:13.993 --> 00:23:21.244
But after he passed, we're going through things I found it no-transcript.
00:23:21.244 --> 00:23:25.670
A lot of it filled out, but the things that, first of all, I had my dad's handwriting.
00:23:25.670 --> 00:23:32.238
Second of all, um, there are some really cool things there that none of us really knew, so it was really really encouraging in that regard.
00:23:32.238 --> 00:23:34.528
Um, and you can get them on on amazon.
00:23:34.528 --> 00:23:46.057
The other thing I encourage people and this would be for you as well would be um, when you're having conversations with him, just set your phone on record and don't let them know it and just totally forget that it's recording.
00:23:46.659 --> 00:23:51.124
I have some of the best conversations with my mom on my phone.
00:23:51.124 --> 00:24:00.253
Two weeks before she passed, one of the last recorded conversations we have and my news is during COVID was how to pass out Halloween candy safely.
00:24:00.253 --> 00:24:04.721
But that's what we were talking about and I love it.
00:24:04.721 --> 00:24:06.404
That was where her mind was.
00:24:06.404 --> 00:24:13.635
So I have some of the craziest conversations with mom recorded on my phone, which I've now saved.
00:24:13.635 --> 00:24:19.316
But what's cool is well, we had a large family, our first full family Christmas in 2019, here at my house.
00:24:19.316 --> 00:24:25.057
We had 15 people cramming my house of 12,000, we had the best time.
00:24:25.057 --> 00:24:28.592
It was so epic and it ended up being our last family Christmas.
00:24:28.592 --> 00:24:37.938
I set my tablet over on the shelf and just recorded for four hours of all the banter, all the laughter and I just having it.
00:24:37.938 --> 00:24:42.291
You know, when mom was declining in the hospital, I was recording.
00:24:42.291 --> 00:24:46.671
We had people call her to say goodbye and I was recording those phone calls.
00:24:46.671 --> 00:24:52.090
I mean just all kinds of things, because now we have that journey, so just it's one way to help.
00:24:52.090 --> 00:24:55.057
Um, so what I call anticipatory grief.
00:24:55.057 --> 00:24:58.832
It kind of just helps a little bit, and then you have those those stories later.
00:24:58.832 --> 00:25:00.554
But yeah, sorry, all that again.
00:25:00.914 --> 00:25:06.080
Uh, where people can reach me is at subullscom and if they go to the website I have.
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:21.089
One of the keys to keeping hope alive is to keep encouragement alive, and I have a weekly text I send out on Wednesdays called Hump Day Help, and it's just something comes right to your phone they can sign up for that at the website.
00:25:21.089 --> 00:25:22.335
Go to subullscom.
00:25:22.335 --> 00:25:26.397
You'll see a little thing come across around the homepage about Humpday Help.
00:25:26.397 --> 00:25:28.155
Go ahead and sign up for that.
00:25:28.155 --> 00:25:29.644
I'll get you on the list right away.
00:25:29.644 --> 00:25:37.403
It's just something I send out Wednesdays to encourage people, but as well, there's information about life coaching.
00:25:37.403 --> 00:25:42.211
There's the books around there, some other things I have some wristbands and stuff that I have around there as well.
00:25:42.211 --> 00:25:45.118
I would love to get the books in people's hands.
00:25:45.419 --> 00:25:46.541
But let's hear from you.
00:25:46.541 --> 00:25:48.615
What are you learning?
00:25:48.615 --> 00:25:49.700
What are you struggling with?
00:25:49.700 --> 00:25:50.755
How can I help you?
00:25:50.755 --> 00:25:54.597
Because that's what that website's all about is how can I help you take your next step?
00:25:54.597 --> 00:25:59.416
Because my business name you see on the shirt says my step ahead, and the whole concept is you only have to be.
00:25:59.416 --> 00:26:03.838
You only have to be a step ahead to help the person behind you.
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