March 13, 2025
Money Choices After Heartbreak: A Divorce Recovery Roadmap
Shell Sawyer transformed her own devastating divorce experience into a mission to guide others through the financial maze of marriage dissolution. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, divorce coach, and mediator with over 20 years in the financial services industry, Shell brings compassionate expertise to a process that leaves most people feeling overwhelmed and alone.
"Even though my background was in finance, I had a hard time making decisions during my divorce," Shell reveals, capturing the emotional paralysis that affects even financially savvy individuals. This vulnerability makes her approach uniquely powerful—she understands both the technical requirements and the emotional landscape of divorce recovery.
What separates Shell's methodology from typical financial advice is her holistic vision of post-divorce life. Beyond just splitting assets, she helps clients envision their next chapter, ensuring settlements are not just legally sound but financially sustainable. "Understanding the short and long-term implications of divorce decisions is crucial," she explains, noting how tax consequences can make seemingly fair divisions deeply imbalanced.
Shell's book, "You Are Not Alone: Your Guide for When Divorce is on Your Doorstep," offers practical templates, checklists, and compassionate guidance for those navigating divorce. Her approach combines financial recovery coaching with emotional support, helping clients develop sustainable budgets and emergency funds while acknowledging the grief process that accompanies the end of a marriage.
The path to recovery involves rediscovering yourself through self-care, rebuilding support networks, and finding new purpose. As Shell beautifully articulates, "I look at my last divorce, even though it was hard, as a gift to me. I never would have been able to do some of the things I do now." Ready to transform your divorce experience from purely painful to an opportunity for financial empowerment and personal growth? Shell offers 30-minute complimentary consultations to start your journey toward a brighter future.
Brice Harney
Life On Record
Miles of Smiles Entertainment
Richmond Punch
TK Hair Salon
Ogden Ventures LLC
CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC
SnappBandZ
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Love & Light - Keep Hope Alive
Chapters
00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
02:42 - Meeting Shell Sawyer: Finance Expert
09:37 - Life after Divorce: Financial Challenges
17:31 - Learning Financial Skills from Parents
25:27 - Navigating Divorce with Children
32:16 - Self-Care and Healing During Divorce
39:05 - Shell's Book: "You Are Not Alone"
44:47 - Hope and Moving Forward
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:02.823 --> 00:00:04.626
Hello and welcome.
00:00:04.626 --> 00:00:09.394
To Keep Huffle Live podcast Today, I got Michelle Sawyer here.
00:00:09.394 --> 00:00:11.101
Welcome, welcome.
00:00:11.101 --> 00:00:13.044
First of all, thank you for having me.
00:00:13.044 --> 00:00:15.670
Oh, you're welcome, she.
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She is a CEO, president and author and we're going to be diving into everything that she does.
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She's so talented and I love this topic we're going to be talking about today because I think everybody goes through it.
00:00:28.152 --> 00:00:36.612
But before we even get started, a quick question Out of the past five years, how many weddings have you been to?
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I think one yeah One In the past five years, unfortunately Right.
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I love weddings.
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I love weddings too.
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I really do, and I'm a professional photographer, certified wedding planner, so I've been to so many weddings in my life but they've slowed down greatly.
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So, yeah, what's going?
00:01:01.003 --> 00:01:01.927
on with that.
00:01:02.823 --> 00:01:03.365
I don't know.
00:01:03.365 --> 00:01:05.507
I think we need some divorce parties.
00:01:06.820 --> 00:01:07.864
That's probably true.
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You might get some business, yeah.
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So, yeah, definitely.
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So, when you go into the wedding part, there is something for you to sign to let the couple know that you were there.
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What are you signing?
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The guest book yes, yes, perfect.
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Yes, yes.
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So one of our biggest sponsors here is Life on Record and what they do.
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Instead of the guest book, they have a vintage rotary phone that your guests can come in.
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They'll walk up to the phone.
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Now there's two options.
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They can pick up the rotary phone and leave a message Congratulations on your big day, we're so excited for you.
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Or maybe it's like a groomsman and they're going hey, dude, it's about time to put a ring on her finger.
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I'm so excited for you too.
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Right next to it is a QR code that your guests can take out their cell device and scan it and leave a message on their phone, if that's what they wish.
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But what they do is they collect all these messages from your friends, your family, and they burn it either on a 12-inch vinyl record or they have a keepsake speaker and it's all personalized, so you get to have all those messages.
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Now I always use weddings as an example, but it could be for birthday parties, corporate events, anniversaries I like funerals, and also, if you are in a sports team, I use this.
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One of the kids broke his leg Team members.
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I gave the phone number to call and wish him to get well.
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So it's great.
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Now their plans only start at $99.
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Now you get to keep the phone number Number.
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You got to return that phone.
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Even though, as cute as it is, the phone has to be returned.
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But to get more information on Life on Record, visit them at wwwlifeonrecordcom.
00:03:05.110 --> 00:03:07.735
All right, well, let's get started.
00:03:07.735 --> 00:03:08.700
We got this.
00:03:08.700 --> 00:03:15.473
So my question now is who is Shell Sawyer, and I love your first name.
00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:18.643
Thank you.
00:03:18.643 --> 00:03:20.004
Who is Shell Sawyer?
00:03:20.004 --> 00:03:22.026
Well, that isn't that a good question, right?
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Who am I?
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I, um, I'm a person who was um, who her dad was her hero.
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Um, I really enjoyed having my dad, um, for my most of my life.
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Unfortunately, he's passed away.
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I wish I had a recording of his voice.
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Um, that would have been nice.
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Yeah, I love that.
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Yeah, that would have been nice.
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Yeah, I love that.
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Yes, yeah, that would have been good.
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So I, yeah, I grew up.
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He was a very much a money person.
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He dealt with his finance.
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He taught me so much about finances when I was growing up and I was such a lucky girl that way, and so when it was time for me to go to school and get and go to college, finance was my natural choice.
00:04:08.801 --> 00:04:11.567
I became an accountant.
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I got my master's in accounting, I worked over 20 years in the financial services industry and then we went through a divorce.
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I've actually been through two, but my second one was devastating because I did have a daughter with him and I felt very overwhelmed during the whole process and, even though my background was in finance, I had a hard time making decisions.
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So you know, some days I didn't even want to get out of bed, let alone make decisions for my future and my daughter's future out of bed, let alone make decisions for my future and my daughter's future.
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And I wish I had somebody by my side that could help me with that.
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So when everything was all said and done and you know, the fog had kind of cleared after my divorce and it was final, I said what can I do to help through divorce?
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So now I'm a certified divorce financial analyst that's a mouthful CDFA.
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I'm also a certified divorce coach and mediator.
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So I help people make good decisions in their divorce and hold their hand the whole way so they can make some good decisions and if they need a little help, they've got the support in me.
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I'll be the first to admit wow, my first marriage.
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It ended two days before our eight-year wedding anniversary.
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I was so blindsided, oh gosh, it hurt.
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But my financial decisions, my goodness, I wish I had you in my corner.
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I never knew there was anybody there to help guide, you know, with, you know making those decisions, because all I could think is okay, I'm picking up where her dad is missing.
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So I want to take her to the movies.
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I want her to go to play putt-putt or bowling.
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I want to do her to the movies.
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I want her to go to play putt-putt or bowling.
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I want to do this and that.
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And I opened up a credit card and it was just like stupid.
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Me was so young and I have to call me stupid because I wasted so much money and it hurt me in the long run.
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So where were you?
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I might have even hurt her.
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I was probably going through my own divorce at that time, um, but like not not being financially like independent and, you know, having your own finances in order uh, probably hurt her a little bit too.
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You know, like, maybe she got to have a lot of fun, but she probably felt mom pinching her pennies at times too.
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Right, yeah.
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Well, she was too young to know that, I think.
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Yeah, yeah, that's good.
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It's just, you know, we learn we, we learn finances from how we grow up, right?
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There's nothing else really that teaches us anything is, it's usually our parents that teach us and then maybe some life experiences, but they don't teach a lot of it like in school, right?
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Um, maybe how to write a check.
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I don't even know if they'd even do that anymore I never learned that at school, yeah yeah, me either.
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No, I was and I wish they did more of training.
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So my dad I didn't learn anything on finances through my dad, but my mom she would always make comments, so you need to save your money for this and that.
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And I remember when I was engaged she's like can you skip the wedding and I buy you a house?
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I stupidly said no.
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I was like man looking back right yeah.
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It was like can.
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I try again.
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Yeah, I love it, that's good.
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I love that, though, that she gave you that option.
00:08:08.281 --> 00:08:11.487
She gave you that option yeah, yeah, because we spend so much money on weddings right um.
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Oh, yes, yes, but you know and plan yeah, I was planning.
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At age 14 I would.
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I knew I wanted to be a certified um.
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Well, when I was younger, I played Barbies and my Barbies were always getting married.
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But I wanted to help people with their weddings.
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So, and then, when I was like 16, I bought a poster board.
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I had all the magazines for bridal and I made a vision board.
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This is where my wedding's going to be, these are the colors, these are the flowers, this is what my cake's going to look like.
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And I rolled it up and I put it in my closet top shelf and when I got proposed to, I think I was like 20.
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No, yeah, 20.
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So I took that poster board out from all those years and half of it was already correct.
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My dresses were on cue, the flowers were on cue and I got married at a golf um club and it was the same entryway and everything.
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It was beautiful.
00:09:09.423 --> 00:09:12.028
But you predicted your wedding.
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That's cool yeah, it was like you had an idea right, and that was what you stuck with well, you know, it's something.
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Know, I interviewed a lady who talks about manifest and she's wonderful because, oh my gosh, she's so right.
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I really had to like I did manifest when I was younger.
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I manifest about jobs as I got older, Like here's the great thing, I manifest, I really want to move to Oklahoma.
00:09:45.048 --> 00:09:49.764
And then just like that, and I said I am going to get a job.
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I like sent so many applications and I kept saying, no, this one I got it.
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I feel like I got it.
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And it was just the wonderful feeling and he hired me yesterday for my interview.
00:10:02.486 --> 00:10:06.153
Wonderful Congratulations and you manifested that.
00:10:06.153 --> 00:10:09.405
Yes, I believe in manifestation too.
00:10:09.405 --> 00:10:15.008
Right, you have to have some action involved with the manifestation, but yeah, I believe in it.
00:10:15.008 --> 00:10:17.472
The positive thinking, right.
00:10:17.919 --> 00:10:18.380
Oh yeah.
00:10:18.380 --> 00:10:31.515
So I mean, and with people going through a divorce I would say, if you set those mindset goals, just kind of redirect everything, because that hurt is real after divorces.
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I mean, all I had was a wine bottle and Michael Buble.
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And then I saw Michael Buble three times in concert and my favorite song was Home.
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And I remember the stage.
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I was like in the middle of the crowd but it pulled out to the middle and he was like right in front of me and he sang Home.
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I was like wow, this is amazing.
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He helped you get through your divorce.
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He really did.
00:11:00.981 --> 00:11:03.086
Yeah, michael Buble, yeah.
00:11:03.726 --> 00:11:13.602
So, michael, if you hear this on my podcast, let's interview you get him on here, you can manifest it.
00:11:15.365 --> 00:11:20.849
yes, yes, yeah, start contacting his people now out.
00:11:20.849 --> 00:11:24.991
Yeah, definitely yeah.
00:11:26.312 --> 00:11:28.333
So what like okay.
00:11:28.333 --> 00:11:36.308
So this goes back to when you were growing up with parents and they were teaching you the finances.
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I remember for me, if I did hear anything, it was just like no, I didn't want to like have that responsibility or something.
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That was my mindset and I know everybody's different, but you know, for you, you took it, you ran with it.
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Yeah, I did, I liked it, and I think that that's probably the key.
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You probably, just like a lot of people, don't like finances, right, like hear it, and they're just like la, la, la, like I'm not interested, especially as a kid, right, who wants to sit at the table with their father and go over his finances.
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Right, I did, I'll admit it, but not everybody's like that.
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I have a daughter I don't.
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She would never sit with me and talk about finances.
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I think every time I start talking about it she's like oh no, here mom goes again.
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Right, that's how my daughter is.
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I noticed that it sticks.
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So, even though I don't think she's listening, I do notice she has.
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She has been right, she's been applying some things.
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She understands a little bit, so I'm glad, right, yeah, that is really good from me.
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She's not a finance person like I was.
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I think she follows honestly more of her dad's line, more than mine.
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And then I see my son.
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He does follow me in so many different ways, except I never played sports.
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Yeah, he's played sports.
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He's good at sports yeah, yeah, he's played sports.
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He's good at sports football, yes, very, very good, yeah so, and he has an arm.
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I mean I think he could eventually play baseball if he liked it, because I've seen him throw a ball fast and I'm like whoa, I was like I don't want any baseball coaches to know he can throw fast.
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Because they will capture him right yeah they're going to make him like baseball.
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They are.
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Yeah, I always tried so hard to play sports when I was younger, but I was never very good at it.
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My family would tell you that Not very good.
00:14:00.248 --> 00:14:01.250
I tried, though.
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I even had my father as a basketball coach, but I couldn't make a basket to save my life, so I give him a lot of credit.
00:14:09.528 --> 00:14:11.604
I don't know how they do it right.
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I don't know, I tried everything or you don't right.
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You have the ability or you don't know, or you don't right.
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You have the ability or you don't.
00:14:18.075 --> 00:14:27.866
I did gymnastics and volleyball and I was like nope and then when I got older, at my apartment complex they played volleyball in the pool and I loved it.
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I played.
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The kids all had one end to swim and the adults took the other end to play volleyball.
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Volleyball is fun yeah that's still not good at.
00:14:40.589 --> 00:14:47.313
It sounds like you are, so now I know where she got his athletic ability from.
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I almost got my nose broken by one of the throws so I yeah yeah, it missed about like that much and I like, but it didn't hit my face.
00:15:00.933 --> 00:15:06.491
Thank God I was able to maneuver it and I remember the guy who did it.
00:15:06.491 --> 00:15:10.927
He was like I'm so, so sorry, Let me take you out to dinner.
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I was like dinner, but he made a joke because he was just a neighbor that I didn't know.
00:15:16.125 --> 00:15:27.448
And we went to Olive Garden and he told the hostess well, I'm going to sit on this side, she's going to sit on this side, and I was like what, How's that a dinner?
00:15:27.448 --> 00:15:30.674
I was like is this guy being serious?
00:15:30.674 --> 00:15:34.586
But we turned out to be friends later on, which was nice.
00:15:34.687 --> 00:15:43.172
So, yeah, but like I want to also dive in, so with the financial and focusing on is it just women?
00:15:43.172 --> 00:15:44.466
Are you doing men and women?
00:15:45.379 --> 00:15:54.712
Well, I do mediation, so that's like taking a couple, being a third party neutral, and helping them through the divorce process.
00:15:54.712 --> 00:15:58.350
Yes, everything is is either men or women.
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Whoever would like help, right?
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I would say the majority is women, just because I feel like women make a lot of emotional decisions during divorce and they would like to know a little bit about the finances.
00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:15.711
And the finances can be a little scary, right.
00:16:15.711 --> 00:16:19.561
Are you going to be financially okay after the divorce?
00:16:19.561 --> 00:16:20.361
Right?
00:16:20.361 --> 00:16:22.264
What have I?
00:16:22.264 --> 00:16:26.652
You know, what did my state laws require of me?
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How much can I get?
00:16:28.554 --> 00:16:32.590
You know that every state is different, right, they have their own laws.
00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:41.947
So, knowing that ahead of time, getting yourself educated and planning you know you were talking about weddings, right?
00:16:41.947 --> 00:16:43.731
Just kind of piggyback off of that.
00:16:43.731 --> 00:16:48.327
Like we plan for our weddings, right, we sometimes years.
00:16:48.327 --> 00:16:54.285
It sounds like you were planning for many, many years before you actually got married.
00:16:54.285 --> 00:16:57.413
Right, but no one plans for divorce, right?
00:16:58.520 --> 00:16:59.582
No, they don't.
00:16:59.943 --> 00:17:00.325
No.
00:17:00.325 --> 00:17:03.932
Sometimes they just like jump right into the arena, Right Well.
00:17:04.011 --> 00:17:07.186
I hate to say it, after the first divorce you might be planning.
00:17:08.029 --> 00:17:16.429
Yeah, yeah, you might be planning during the whole marriage, right, but I, I slowly, I am a planner myself.
00:17:16.429 --> 00:17:18.031
Anyways, I'm a Capricorn.
00:17:18.031 --> 00:17:26.505
I don't know, you know, if it comes natural to Capricorns, because everything I read about Capricorns is that we are planners, right.
00:17:27.708 --> 00:17:29.211
So, I think that's in by nature.
00:17:29.211 --> 00:17:39.945
That's what I do, and I help people kind of plan for their divorce right, making sure they understand what they need in their next chapter right, not just what they want.
00:17:39.945 --> 00:17:43.523
An attorney can help with what you want and they can get it for you.
00:17:43.523 --> 00:17:50.224
They can negotiate it, but making sure it's affordable is a really big piece of this right.
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Make sure it's affordable.
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Understand the different laws.
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What are you entitled to?
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Iping, I help people come up with good settlement solutions for them, right.
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What's going to?
00:18:02.348 --> 00:18:04.481
be the best settle and then negotiating.
00:18:04.481 --> 00:18:20.962
So I hold their hand during the whole divorce process, helping them along the way, helping them negotiate a good settlement option, helping them understand, you know, the short and long-term implications of the decisions they're making.
00:18:20.962 --> 00:18:43.398
A lot of times there's tax implications that people have to be very aware of, because even if it's a 50-50 state, it might look like 50-50 on paper but it might not be in reality, because there might be some implications that you need to just be aware of either short or long yeah yeah yeah
00:18:43.419 --> 00:18:44.862
really being educated, right?
00:18:44.862 --> 00:18:57.253
I highly recommend that, um, when you're entering the divorce arena, because it's a place where I I think that most of us, right, we hope for the best and we hope it's not going to be us.
00:18:57.253 --> 00:19:19.299
We're not going to be a statistic, right, but then when it does fall on your lap or on your doorstep, being prepared is like one of the best things you can do for yourself, because being prepared helps you have a little less fear of what's going to happen, right, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, less fear of what's going to happen, right, oh yeah.
00:19:19.319 --> 00:19:19.400
Yeah.
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Yeah, I think that's true with anything, right yeah?
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Like I remember I did have a mediator and they walked me through the basic steps and everything, but I had to learn on my own and it was it's so foolish of me and it's maybe because I was so young when I was married, nobody told me in this time of need and the money I was making, of course having a second income, I had no worry about the food and shopping and stuff like that.
00:19:52.512 --> 00:20:02.608
Do you ever help coach, like, even when they're like after they're done, especially women, because I know it was hard for me to learn?
00:20:02.608 --> 00:20:04.192
Oh there's food stamps.
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Oh there's helping courses to go back in school, oh there's this.
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You know, it's just those little things, and I wish people like could have told me this is okay If you have children and you're going to get the child support, how to divvy that out too.
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Because you know I was like oh my gosh, you know this will help pay the rent and everything.
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But in my head it's always been this from a kid and I need to put money away and use it.
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So I told myself back in the day that's what I'm going to do when clothes are needed.
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We're going to go get the clothes.
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