Aug. 26, 2024
From Hair Loss to Hope: Kelly’s Journey of Self-Acceptance and Empowerment
What if you could transform adversity into an inspiring journey of self-acceptance? This week on Keep Hope Alive, we’re honored to have Kelly, a transformational practitioner who has turned her battle with alopecia into a beacon of hope for women facing similar challenges. Kelly’s candid account of her emotional and psychological struggles with hair loss, and her triumphant embrace of her authentic self, will deeply resonate with anyone grappling with self-image issues. Her transition from a successful real estate investor to a supportive guide for women experiencing hair loss highlights the power of turning personal hardship into a mission to uplift others.
Our discussion moves into the realm of career changes and self-discovery, as we share personal experiences of navigating various professional paths. The host reflects on the journey from real estate and photography to the fulfilling world of podcasting and landscape photography, emphasizing the importance of finding joy and purpose in one’s true passions. The conversation becomes poignant as we explore the added complexity of maintaining a professional appearance while dealing with hair loss in conservative corporate environments. Through these stories, we underline the crucial role of self-awareness and the courage to pursue a life aligned with one's true self.
Finally, we tackle practical strategies for overcoming anxiety and building confidence. From the empowering use of mantra bracelets to the benefits of a 90-day virtual coaching program tailored for women, we offer actionable insights for managing stress and fostering personal growth. Kelly’s insights into personal choice and self-acceptance, whether embracing a bald head or wearing a wig, provide a roadmap for anyone struggling with self-image issues. We wrap up with reflections on future aspirations, including writing books and conducting retreats, and invite listeners to connect and share their stories, fostering a community of support and inspiration.
Brice Harney
Life On Record
Miles of Smiles Entertainment
Richmond Punch
TK Hair Salon
Ogden Ventures LLC
CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC
SnappBandZ
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Love & Light - Keep Hope Alive
Chapters
00:02 - Women's Hair Loss and Confidence Building
12:23 - Navigating Career Changes and Acceptance
21:45 - Embracing Challenges and Finding Purpose
32:41 - Overcoming Anxiety and Building Confidence
37:32 - Empowering Confidence Through Coaching
49:51 - Sharing Stories and Connections
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:02.963 --> 00:00:06.950
Hi guys, welcome to Keep Hope Alive podcast.
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Today I have Kelly here with us.
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Hi Kelly, hello everyone, let's see if I can say this right.
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I've been talking so much today, but it's transformational practitioner.
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I said it right, look at that.
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So she's to be telling us all about what she does, and she's such a beautiful lady.
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I'm so excited to have you on here.
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Your personality just talking to you beforehand, you're glowing and it's just amazing, so I can't wait to dive in.
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All right, so before we get started, kelly, how many weddings have you been to in the last 15 years?
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15 years I have been to four weddings.
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Four weddings, Okay.
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Next question Say you're going into a ceremony and you're walking through and to the right there's something there for you to sign to let the bride and groom know you were there.
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What are you signing?
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The guest book.
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Yay, Now, I've only had one other person answer their life away and I was like that was funny.
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I was like no, that would be them signing.
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I think you got it mixed up with a marriage license or something, but yeah definitely.
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So, yes, it is like a guest book, but one of our biggest sponsors here for Keep Hope Alive is lifeonrecordcom.
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Now, what they do is no guest book, but they put a vintage rotary phone out there so your guests get to walk up, pick up the phone and be like congratulations on your big day.
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You guys make a beautiful couple.
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Or maybe it's like even the groom's mind going dude, it's about time you put a ring on her finger.
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You guys make a great couple, congrats, congrats.
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And then, right next to the table with the beautiful phone, they have a QR code that you can scan with your own mobile device if you didn't want to use the phone, and you can leave it before or after.
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Now I always use wedding as my example for Life on Record, but you can use this for any kind of event.
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I even use this for a football injury and let the kids call in and leave a message.
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So what this is is like the gift of voice, and once all these messages come through, you have a choice.
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They can burn it on a 12-inch vinyl record or it could be on a keepsake speaker.
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So even if it's wedding and you're celebrating your one year, you can bring that out, listen to all your friends and family congratulating you and just be like, oh, this is a fun night to hear all these messages.
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Now the other thing is like you can leave a five minute message, 10, even 30 minute message if you wanted to, so it holds that much space.
00:03:03.324 --> 00:03:10.582
So their plans start at $99 and you get the phone number, not the phone.
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You got to return the phone but the number for one year, which is really really cool.
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But their phones, girl, they are so cute, they're like black and gold and the old timey and it's just adorable.
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So you can decorate the table any way you want to.
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I kind of like the idea of like a grandma's attic I keep thinking attic for some reason, but you know something cute with the florals and picture frames and just have that phone there.
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That would be so adorable.
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But to find out more information about it you can go to wwwlifeonrecordcom.
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All right, so who is Kelly?
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I want to know all about you, girl.
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Oh well, I am a multifaceted woman.
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That's what I am Actually, so my background is in real estate investing, so that is what I have done for a very long time.
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But I also help support women with hair loss due to my own hair loss journey.
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So I have alopecia and I found out probably in my 30s, but I actually started losing my hair in my late 20s, so what is it?
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called Alopecia.
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Yes, I don't know what that is, so oh, okay, I'm glad that you don't know, because then I can explain it Right.
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So alopecia is basically an autoimmune disease, basically, that attacks your hair follicles.
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Now it's different forms of alopecia.
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Mines is what they call scarring alopecia that's the nickname.
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So mines is basically from hair products that cause damage to my scalp and my hair follicles and my hair just fell out.
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It will not come back.
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But there are other types of alopecia where people may just lose different spots within their head and it happens randomly.
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Sometimes people wake up and all of their hair is gone.
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It's on the pillow or it's washed.
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You know, when they're washing their hair it just comes out and they need to grow back later.
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Then some people are just not born with hair.
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So it's just different forms of.
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But that's just one type of hair loss.
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There are other types of hair loss, such as, you know, women who are people who are going through cancer and have radiation and chemo treatments.
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You know they lose their hair.
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You can lose your hair from stress, hormonal imbalances, nutrition, menopause, postpartum it's a lot of different ways that women can lose their hair.
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So, but mine happens to be alopecia.
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Women can lose their hair, so, but mine happens to be alopecia, so with that, you're losing a part of yourself and it's very hard.
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And I know I went through years of covering up and hiding and not really telling a lot of people about what I had and what was going on, until I actually worked on my mindset and became comfortable with who I am and decided to present myself authentically and to have the look that you see today and this is what I've been rocking since 2019.
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And I haven't gone back.
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So I'm here to support and help uplift women and rebuild their confidence.
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So, you know, are okay with whatever's happening within themselves.
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Gotcha.
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Gotcha.
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So, as I told you, I was like you can rock it as a model too, as a photographer, and me I was like so that is cool, and you know going through, you know what you did.
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Let me backtrack.
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So you said this happened, happened around.
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Did I hear 13 or I just know?
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okay, so this started happening in my early excuse me, late 20s, early 30s.
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Oh, okay, I was thinking teenager, okay no, I had a full thick head of hair when I was a teenager.
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Yeah, and it was like hair products can do that.
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I've never knew hair products could do that.
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Well, so certain hair products for me or us as African-Americans.
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We would use relaxers to straighten our hair, so when I was younger that was the norm.
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Everybody did it, but we did not know it could cause damage to our scalps.
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Now some people may have known, I mean as far as testing and all that so that may have been occurring, but the average person who was getting this done to themselves did not know.
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So we were relaxing our hair, straightening it, and that was damaging our scalps.
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Now some women weren't affected you know they're fine, but a lot of women are affected, and not even just the relaxers it could.
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We can't use certain shampoos and we didn't know that back then.
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Again, I'm 44.
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So let me just put that out there I grew up in the eighties and nineties, we didn't know't know, yeah, I'm 46, so yeah, yeah, so I have to say that people think I'm younger than what I am, and so when I'm speaking, people are like what are you talking about?
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No, please understand.
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This was the 80s.
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We didn't do all of the things that we do today and we didn't pay attention to the products and what's in the products and how it can harm us.
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We didn't pay attention to that stuff.
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So that is what it was.
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That's what happened.
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My hair turned green with sun and I never had blonde hair.
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I was strictly all this dark color and I only did blonde hair because I keep getting gray hair and I'm trying to cover it.
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But man, turning green, so not knowing products, you're right about that.
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And then even like oh my gosh, the 80s, like taking the curling iron and rolling it up and teasing it.
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I always thought I would lose hair that way too.
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But yes, as women do get closer to menopause too, like being 46, I had my job.
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I was like I found a hairball.
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What is this?
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I'm not a cat Like what?
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is this and my, my boss.
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She's younger than me.
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She goes well.
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When you get up in age, you start to lose hair and I was like she's right.
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Yeah, I was like man, why is it coming out just like a hairball?
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I don't like that.
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And you're used to shedding, but you're not used to a clump of hair.
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That's a big difference, right?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah so that's alarming, exactly.
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So I want to know kind of the process of what you had to go through, like what was the emotional state, like I mean, did it just happen all of a sudden fast for you, or was it weeks that it started coming out?
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to have locks or what they call dreadlocks.
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So at that point I really wasn't paying that much attention to the hair loss because it was just, I was just getting it retwisted and you know it was.
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It didn't show as much until my cousin was doing my hair and she saw a spot at the top of my head and it was a little like bald spot.
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That was that big and she's like you know, you have a spot.
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And I'm like no, but we were just like well, let's just pay attention to it, it'll grow in.
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Let's, you know, put some oil or something on it.
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But it started getting larger.
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So at that point is when I decided to comb the locks out Now this tells you how important my hair was right, because I didn't want to cut my hair off.
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Usually when people have locks they just cut it off and just have a shortcut and let their hair grow back out.
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And I was like no, we're going to comb them out.
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And I was still going to have hair and we're just going to nourish my hair, take care of it and see what happens from there.
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So that tells you right there that I was just in denial, and I was in denial for a very, very long time.
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I did eventually go to a dermatologist and that's when he told me that I have alopecia.
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Now, before going to the dermatologist, I was trying to use essential oils.
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I was using all kinds of things I Googled to try to fix the hair loss and get my hair to grow back, but it just took years and I was wearing wigs and head wraps and just I was gonna ask you that wigs.
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And then even, yeah, you said like, um, not bandana, um, I don't know what they call it there.
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It's like a wrap, okay, yeah, yep yep so doing all of those things?
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scarves, anything just to cover up the hair loss, or weaves or you know, emblinging hair fibers, all kinds of stuff gotcha, gotcha.
00:11:52.614 --> 00:11:59.447
So I mean, you're in your 20s, you already graduated from high school, so that's all done with um.
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Did you end up going to college when?
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so this was after college.
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I was actually done with college, I was out on my own.
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So you know, early this was late twenties, early thirties, so I was past all of that Just getting in.
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I was in my career, the beginning stages at that time out on my own, so yeah.
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I was just a young person just out in the world living my life.
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That is good though.
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So in real estate, I've learned a little bit.
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I've worked for a couple of realtors, but it was doing the photography for MLS, and then I helped with contracts.
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And then one of my bosses is like why don't you go to school?
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I'll pay for it.
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And I was like, but this is not who I am as a person.
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I go, this is something I don't mind, helping you with open houses.
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I'll be your video content person, and I did that for a little bit, but it was.
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It still wasn't me and I was just like test.
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I don't want to do this.
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You know, I have fun talking to people and being like customer service person, so that's, of course, why I have a podcast.
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And it's good that you knew that.
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You know, because everybody doesn't recognize like, hey, this job isn't for me, I'm not going to even take this, I'll go down this route.
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But you knew, hey, I know myself, this doesn't fit me, so yeah yeah, I was just like I don't want to be scrambling for homes for sale to know if I'm going to be able to pay my bills or not.
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You know I still would not do that.
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I mean, yeah, it's fun, I watch people do it.
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You know I've seen some people in real estate also burn out from it.
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You know it is very stressful.
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So I just kind of like I will sit back, watch.
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I even with the podcast, I even put the photography on a little bit of a hold too, and I'm just like you know.
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But I have this vision because I love doing landscape photography.
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I still want to do that.
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So, even though camera's in the bag, I'm like I still got that eye, I still want to go do that.
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And then I was like, am I going to get busy this fall?
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Because family portraits and I used to do that a lot.
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But I was just like I'm getting older, Let these younger ones get it now.
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Isn't it something?
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As you get older, you're like the things you used to do.
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You're like, nah, I don't have the time and energy for it, We'll let somebody else handle that.
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Right now, it's about ease and flow and whatever I enjoy doing.
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Exactly.
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It's so different than when you were younger.
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Yep, yep, definitely.
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And you know it's great because I'll go to church and they well, he's been talking about this a lot.
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But having your placement and knowing how you're serving and like for me, I know it's the podcast, I know my spiritual gift, I know how to use it and and I know I'm doing good for the world and I will keep continuing to do that because that is my calling.
00:15:10.770 --> 00:15:13.866
So, but you know, just hearing that is so funny.
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I love my church.
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But his voice is like so soothing and I'm like I fall asleep.
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I was like that's a sign I'm getting older, but he's funny because I think it was a couple of weeks ago.
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He goes.
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I know I put you guys to sleep sometimes, but please wake up.
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I'm just like, yes, we're awake.
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Don't call me out.
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Please don't call me out.
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There is no way.
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There's hundreds of people that go for each one.
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It is a huge church.
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I don't think I ever get singled out, but I sit close enough, I guess you know, by their videotaping.
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I just don't want to be on a videotape sleeping, so, but I love church.
00:15:58.807 --> 00:16:17.448
So, but other than that, so with the changes I'm going to go back to this because it's very important I'm trying to understand, like, through work and you said you were wearing the wigs, the coverups, and I mean, did it change anything?
00:16:17.448 --> 00:16:24.291
Well, you had to go through changes, probably, like I don't want to say mentally is not the right word, or is it like?
00:16:24.712 --> 00:16:25.818
you had to accept it.
00:16:25.818 --> 00:16:27.986
Yes, yeah, emotionally, mentally.
00:16:27.986 --> 00:16:51.326
Yeah, there were some challenges there were, because even at the beginning stages of my hair loss, I was still in corporate America at that time, even though I'm a real estate investor, yes, but I still had a job and just going to work and trying to figure out OK, how do I present myself Because I have this hair loss, like, what do I do?
00:16:51.346 --> 00:16:52.610
Because you know in corporate America.
00:16:52.950 --> 00:16:56.379
You have to present yourself in a certain way, especially then.
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This was early 2000s.
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Yeah.
00:16:59.546 --> 00:17:00.508
You know, it was really.
00:17:00.508 --> 00:17:07.547
Really it wasn't as relaxed as let's put it like that really, really it wasn't as relaxed, let's put it like that.
00:17:07.547 --> 00:17:08.328
It wasn't relaxed.
00:17:08.328 --> 00:17:09.692
It was really conservative back then.
00:17:09.692 --> 00:17:14.744
Now you know it's more, much more relaxed, because now you can work from home, you can wear sweatpants and this.
00:17:15.005 --> 00:17:22.227
Back then it was like no, the only thing you may be able to do was business casual, that's khakis and a nice shirt, right?
00:17:22.227 --> 00:17:27.785
So you have to present yourself in a certain way and it was like, oh goodness, now how do I do this?
00:17:27.785 --> 00:17:29.789
Because I didn't know how to buy wigs.
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I had never bought one.
00:17:30.751 --> 00:17:34.048
So I had to learn how to do that and figure out that process.
00:17:34.107 --> 00:17:42.471
And I had some good ones and I had some bad ones, but in the beginning it wasn't that great into like the head wraps.
00:17:42.471 --> 00:17:51.651
Like culturally, yeah, we wear head wraps, but to wear it to work, how is that going to be perceived when I can't figure out my hair situation?
00:17:51.651 --> 00:17:58.441
So it was just stressful, just thinking every morning about how do I go to work and what do I look like when I go to work.
00:17:58.441 --> 00:18:07.565
Every night I'm thinking about this and you know, the mornings, how do I present myself this, and you know the mornings, how do I present myself?
00:18:07.565 --> 00:18:13.564
So, stress on top of denial, on top of frustration, because I'm trying to figure out the solution and you know I can't figure that out.
00:18:13.564 --> 00:18:14.809
I go to the dermatologist.
00:18:14.809 --> 00:18:20.106
He's he doesn't have any solutions for me because he's like, with your type of alopecia there's nothing you can do.
00:18:20.106 --> 00:18:26.480
And he's like you can't even, you know, get hair transplants.
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:27.903
But again, I didn't believe him.
00:18:27.923 --> 00:18:33.905
I was like no, well, there's always a way, yeah, there's a way, there's a way and I'm still going to go and see if I can get some hair transplants.
00:18:33.905 --> 00:18:40.645
And I did, yeah, and I was told I wasn't a good candidate because of the type of alopecia.
00:18:40.645 --> 00:18:44.316
Now, if I had a different form of alopecia, it may have worked.
00:18:44.316 --> 00:18:50.087
The type of alopecia I have, the scarring they're like no, it'll be a waste of your money.
00:18:50.087 --> 00:19:00.263
So, basically, if I was to have the hair transplanted from the back of my head to the top, eventually the follicles would just die again and the hair would just come back out.
00:19:00.263 --> 00:19:06.105
So I was appreciative that they told me the truth and didn't just take my money.
00:19:06.105 --> 00:19:12.313
You know I was grateful for that, but it was still disappointing because as a woman, you want hair.
00:19:12.313 --> 00:19:14.003
That's what society tells us.
00:19:14.003 --> 00:19:18.663
In order to be beautiful, you have to have hair and you know it's a big thing.
00:19:18.663 --> 00:19:27.819
So yeah, so that was frustration, then it was anger, then it was a little bit of sadness and depression because now I'm told I can't get the hair transplants.
00:19:27.819 --> 00:19:28.441
I can't.
00:19:28.441 --> 00:19:29.602
What do I do?
00:19:29.602 --> 00:19:30.563
What do I do?
00:19:30.742 --> 00:19:48.244
At this point I wasn't shaving my hair off, and wearing it bald was not an option in my mind until I had to for the first time, and it was a situation that happened where I got a hairstyle and all my hair pretty much fell out, you know, at the top.
00:19:48.325 --> 00:19:51.373
It was like all of this at the top of my head.
00:19:51.373 --> 00:19:55.210
So then that was a situation where I had no choice.
00:19:55.210 --> 00:20:02.631
I had to cut my hair off and I was not prepared to do that mentally at all.
00:20:02.631 --> 00:20:09.086
I didn't feel good about it, I didn't feel good about myself, I didn't feel good about the decision and the choice I had to make.
00:20:09.086 --> 00:20:10.791
I just did not feel good.
00:20:10.791 --> 00:20:21.407
But I did wear it bald for maybe a month and a half and I couldn't handle it anymore and I put the wig back on and I wore a wig, I think for a full year.
00:20:21.407 --> 00:20:34.586
I did not leave the house without a wig on for a full year and I let my hair grow up under it and it some of it did come back, but it was still, you know, a patchy, so I couldn't just wear it out, and if I didn't, wear it out.
00:20:34.645 --> 00:20:39.423
I had to put like a scarf or something around the front and then wear you know it out in the back.
00:20:39.423 --> 00:20:40.983
So I still had the camouflage.
00:20:42.224 --> 00:20:57.674
Wow, okay, yeah, so you're definitely going through all those changes, learning to accept it, and then it's making you stronger, and I guess where I'm getting at this.
00:20:57.674 --> 00:21:04.920
You have found a way to empower other people who are going through this, correct?
00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:22.287
Yes, yes, as I mentioned earlier, yeah, that's that has led me to supporting women with hair loss and also supporting women in general, just with being your authentic self, because there are a lot of things about us that we just don't like Now.
00:21:22.287 --> 00:21:29.894
Other people may be like you look fine, you know, but it may be your weight, it may be your hair, it may be you have to have something amputated.
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