Feb. 18, 2025
Dallas Collins's Guide to True Self-Contentment
What if the key to true happiness lies not in what you achieve, but in how you perceive your own journey? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dallas Collins, the insightful author of "The Gift is Present," as we uncover this profound idea. Dallas opens up about his own experiences with trauma and the path he took to transform those challenges into a deep understanding of self-love and happiness. His stories, intertwined with wisdom, serve as a reminder of the power of living fully in the present moment, free from the confines of past regrets and future anxieties.
We dive into the art of being present, advocating that happiness isn't a distant goal but a state accessible to us right now. Together, we reflect on how societal norms often mislead us into equating success with material wealth, when true fulfillment comes from within. With personal anecdotes and thoughtful insights, the discussion reveals how shifting our perspective from external achievements to internal contentment can profoundly impact our lives. Learn how embracing this mindset can transform your everyday experiences, allowing you to truly savor the moment and appreciate life as it unfolds.
Empower yourself with practical tools for well-being, health, and happiness as we discuss radical responsibility and the interconnectedness of our physical, mental, and social lives. Discover the Step System and Fit Five Life, frameworks designed to help you make incremental changes that lead to significant transformations. Dallas shares the importance of letting go of emotional baggage and societal expectations, encouraging a life where love, presence, and authentic joy become the guiding principles. Tune in for an inspiring episode that encourages you to awaken to your true self and seize the happiness that lies within reach.
Brice Harney
Life On Record
Miles of Smiles Entertainment
Richmond Punch
TK Hair Salon
Ogden Ventures LLC
CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC
SnappBandZ
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Love & Light - Keep Hope Alive
Chapters
00:03 - Finding Happiness Through Overcoming Trauma
17:02 - Living in the Present Moment
23:37 - Living in the Present Moment
32:53 - Embracing Self-Love and Presence
44:20 - Awakening to the Present Moment
54:08 - Empowering Radical Responsibility for Health
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:03.024 --> 00:00:06.067
hello and welcome to keep up a live podcast.
00:00:06.067 --> 00:00:11.855
Today I have the privilege of meeting mr dallas collins.
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Welcome, welcome, welcome.
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I'm so glad you're here, thanks for having me you're welcome.
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We can see that you're an author.
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Your latest book is that a gift Present, correct?
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I hope I said that right.
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The Gift is Present.
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I want to say the Present it is the Present.
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Oh, it is the Present.
00:00:32.651 --> 00:00:47.673
Okay, gotcha, and we're going to be diving into his story, going over his journey of how he's writing books and what it's like to, I guess, be you in the world and bring joy and happiness to people.
00:00:47.673 --> 00:00:55.947
But before I get started I have a question for you Out of the past year how many weddings have you been to?
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Oh, zero.
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Zero.
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Okay, Well, pretend.
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Some friends of ours invited us to go to a wedding and we're walking into the ceremony site and off to the right.
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There's something there that we need to sign.
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What is it that we are needing to sign?
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That would be a guest book.
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I haven't signed one in 10 years.
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I know right, they do them all different.
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Well, I've seen Jenga, I've seen the picture frames, and now I see a little foil tree you can make and I was like, oh, these are all interesting, but my favorite is Life on Record.
00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:51.703
And they're one of our biggest sponsors here at Keep Hope Alive and what they do is, instead of that guest book, they do a vintage rotary phone so your guests can come up to it, pick up, leave a message, whether it's one minute, five minutes, 30 minutes, but at a wedding, do 30 minutes, yeah.
00:01:51.703 --> 00:02:01.290
And right next to it it has a QR scan code that the guests can use their own cell phones to use and scan it to leave a message before or after.
00:02:01.290 --> 00:02:08.682
Now, the great thing, a message before or after Now, the great thing.
00:02:08.682 --> 00:02:20.332
They're collecting the voice, which is a gift to us, so we get to hear it back, and what they do is burn all those messages either on a 12-inch vinyl record or they have a keepsake box they call it the little boom box that they put it on.
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Their plans start at $99.
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You get the phone number.
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You have to return the phone, but you get the phone number for a whole year, so you can, like I said, use this.
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Weddings, family reunions, maybe birthday parties, big corporate events, it All right, that's really cool.
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I know it is.
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I was like I need to plan a big party, I want to use that.
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So now I did use it.
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Last year and I even did a podcast.
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It was called Hush and it's the first podcast I did that I actually ever cried in, but it was about my son's football team and another team.
00:03:09.907 --> 00:03:18.347
There was a really bad leg accident on one of our team members and how coaches handled it.
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It wasn't our team.
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We were worried about the kid that got hurt, but the other team was coming right at us and fighting with the coaches' wives and parents were getting involved.
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It was a mess, but yeah, that one was very hard.
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So I used Life on Record, gave everybody in our app that phone number to call and wish a boy well for his leg Nice, so that was a good use of it.
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Boy well for his leg, nice, so that was a good use of it.
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That is my favorite story right there.
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So, let's get to it.
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I'm so excited.
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So who is Dallas Collis?
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Well, let's start just before that, because I think a great conversation needs a foundation.
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That because I think a great conversation needs a foundation.
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And the foundation for this is what do we all want?
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What does everyone want from their life?
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What did your parents want for you, what do you want for your children?
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And, in the final analysis, when we boil it down, it's not to be a doctor or an astronaut or someone famous, it's to be healthy and happy.
00:04:28.124 --> 00:04:42.295
So if we can agree that really human beings have one destination to try to find their happy, beautiful, loving place to relax, enjoy and just be happy.
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Can we go with that?
00:04:45.144 --> 00:04:51.946
Yeah, I want to go with that, because I'm picturing a beach right now, so you got me.
00:04:52.446 --> 00:04:56.913
So if happiness is our destination, what are?
00:04:56.934 --> 00:04:57.495
we waiting for?
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We shouldn't be waiting, right.
00:05:00.803 --> 00:05:02.966
And that's where the story happens.
00:05:02.966 --> 00:05:08.535
You are a story, I am a story, we are storytellers.
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I meet Nadine at a coffee bar or wherever Someone introduces me to you and I say nice to meet you, tell me something about yourself.
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And you start telling me your story.
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So we are our story from birth.
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Everything that happens, everything we perceive and experience, we're taught, we taste, we touch, we smell, we fall down, get up, everything becomes a part of our history that we then identify as that is the self, is the story I see behind me, what I've been through, my memories, my history, and, like any human being, the start of that story building is often trauma, because the experience of coming into this world is trauma on its own.
00:06:01.451 --> 00:06:03.927
And things happen.
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You know, I was psychologically and physically bullied and abused as a child.
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I came out of my early years knowing I was not smart enough, not good enough, didn't measure up.
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I failed.
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I failed in school, I failed on tests, I failed in grades completely.
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So that's the message that gets put into my story and that's what we call emotional baggage.
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Yes, and we call it that because we carry that baggage with us, some of us for our entire lives, and there's always a nagging difficulty, stress, worry, shame, guilt, regret.
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We create anxiety.
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What might happen next?
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All these things come from that, what I call the story mind, this invented, created movie and a script that we follow and identify as the self.
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Who I am, and I can tell you who I am.
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Well, of course, this has some problems and, like every human being, we look for ways to deal with it and we deal with it by the education that tells us it's all out there.
00:07:21.093 --> 00:07:24.182
So our first addiction is blame.
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We blame what happened to us, we blame someone who did something to us, we blame school, we blame the church, we blame the upbringing, we blame a friend.
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We grow, and we blame our boss.
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And we blame the traffic.
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And we blame the environment, the government, politics, you name it.
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We blame the economy, we blame our kids.
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For making me angry today, I blame my wife, for it just goes on and on.
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And this whole I call it an addiction because what it does is it keeps us from our own self, from ever facing the baggage we carry, from ever facing the baggage we carry.
00:08:03.250 --> 00:08:18.079
We're using it like a medication, like an addict does, to not feel the pain, to not take responsibility for what I'm feeling.
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So of course, the blame begins to wear off if you've got a lot of pain.
00:08:20.860 --> 00:08:24.661
And so then I chose alcohol, because alcohol is a better medication.
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It's stronger and I go drinking and party with friends and have fun and the pain is not there.
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I'm having a great life.
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This is fine.
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But then you do it too long and it begins to turn on you and pretty soon you can't stop and you have to up the medication.
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Get stronger medication, get more, add some drugs.
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I'm in a 25-year marriage with my wife and she's in the exact same boat, carrying anger and pain from her trauma and medicating with drugs and alcohol along with me.
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And so we enable each other to stay unresponsible for our lives.
00:09:06.131 --> 00:09:08.373
And from the outside.
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We have a house, we have cars in the driveway, vacations, a business together, two beautiful children.
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We're normal, right, we're the normal, successful, middle-class family.
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Everyone sees, and aren't they terrific?
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But under that roof is a storm, a war, an absolute tragedy for our children as well, a shame you would carry forever from it.
00:09:38.326 --> 00:09:39.510
Well, I got lucky.
00:09:39.510 --> 00:09:46.283
Not long into the great pandemic, I woke up one morning with cancer the luckiest day of my life.
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I had started a 12-year period to the day of being diagnosed with cancer, going through treatment, losing my wife, losing my house, losing my family in any way you can imagine that being losing our business, ending up alone, broken, alcoholic and suicidal.
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In exactly one year, all that happened.
00:10:12.166 --> 00:10:13.488
So I call that the year of life collapse.
00:10:13.488 --> 00:10:16.980
Now, there's a good thing to that.
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If any one of those things had happened, it could have been a tragedy for my life, I think, because it all happened together.
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There was no time for it to be a tragedy.
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It was simply trying to hold on to the lifeboat and get through it.
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There was no time to actually absorb pain from it.
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But what it did was wake me up to this false reality of who.
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I believe.
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I was the false self and I now believe we are all a false self because we are that story.
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I didn't create that story.
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You didn't create your story.
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Your experience and environment and people's opinions and education and parenting that created the story.
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You never chose it.
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You became an identity that happened to you.
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So my entire life, my entire life, is believed to be this story, our history.
00:11:19.326 --> 00:11:29.453
One day, soon after, I'm trying to understand how to get my life back together, how to get physically healthy and stronger, how to be able to live and go forward.
00:11:30.801 --> 00:11:46.158
I'm listening to a podcast in the background making dinner one night, and a man on the podcast said one line, and you know that hit me like a ton of bricks oh yeah, I've never, I've never believed that that's sort of Hollywood, you know, struck by a ton of bricks.
00:11:46.158 --> 00:11:46.361
Oh yeah, I've never believed that.
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That's sort of Hollywood, you know, struck by a bolt of lightning.
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And I always thought that was silly.
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Well, I got to experience it.
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And what the man said was show me yesterday.
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That was it my brain said show me yesterday, nadine, can I go to the cupboard, pull out yesterday and go here?
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What do you think?
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I don't know, could you?
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No, of course we can't.
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We know we can't, but I had based my whole life on yesterday.
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Yesterday almost killed me, and now I have to see in my mind what is the reality of our yesterday, what is the reality of our story outside of just a memory?
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What is the truth of a memory?
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How could just a memory almost kill me in the real life of today?
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I mean that opened the door wide and said it's just a story.
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It's just a belief.
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You believe things 10 years ago you don't believe right now.
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You will believe things in 10 years that you don't believe right now.
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So what is a belief?
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How true is it?
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It's only as true as you believe it is.
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When that happened, my self could collapse.
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I could get rid of myself.
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I don't need a self.
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Who needs a self-image?
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There's no reason for it.
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It's a story we believe and the story pushes us around, directs us, gives us opinion and ideas and response.
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What for To uphold a story that isn't even really me?
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So what's the truth of me?
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And, I think, the truth of us?
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We already started there.
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I think the truth of us.
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We already started there.
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We are what we seek the beauty, the love and the happiness.
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That's as you are born.
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Look into the eyes and face of a brand new baby, fresh out of the oven, and what you see is love, beauty, happiness.
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You don't have any judgment, it just is.
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What you're seeing is not the baby.
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You're seeing your reflection of your heart in the baby.
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It's showing you.
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This is who you really are, not a who, not a self.
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What what you are.
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My mother died six weeks ago, two hours before her death, I looked down into her face and her eyes and what do you think I saw?
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I saw the baby.
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I saw love, beauty and happiness At the start and at the end.
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What we are is always revealed In between.
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We cloud it with a story and the story gives us every problem we can face in life.
00:14:56.947 --> 00:15:04.956
Every worry, every concern, every regret, every shame, every anxiety is only in the story.
00:15:04.956 --> 00:15:08.621
It's not in what we are.
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There's no shame, guilt, anxiety, fear or pain in love and beauty and happiness.
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That baby has no story.
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It has none of those things attached to it.
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And at death, almost every single person says what their only regret is the time they spent in that story and not being in where Love, beauty and happiness with their family, their friends, the important things.
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This is always right behind us like a clear blue sky and sunshine, but we end up staring at all the clouds and the rain and the storm and we think that's important.
00:15:47.402 --> 00:15:49.946
We go into school and what does school teach us?
00:15:49.946 --> 00:16:00.746
To make the grade, to reach the goal, to be able to jump the hoop, measure up, get an a and you're smart, get an f and you're stupid.
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It's always external.
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We will find the happiness, the beauty and the love out there.
00:16:07.255 --> 00:16:12.947
Get a house, get a beautiful hot wife, get a beautiful hot car.
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Reach, grow, succeed, strive, grind, discipline.
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Always external, the same as the addiction to stay away from the pain, always external, the same as the addiction to stay away from the pain.
00:16:25.644 --> 00:16:26.546
And so what happens?
00:16:26.546 --> 00:16:28.907
95% of people don't reach their goals.
00:16:28.907 --> 00:16:31.308
They don't go after their dreams.
00:16:31.308 --> 00:16:31.908
They give up.
00:16:31.908 --> 00:16:41.274
They make, do, they get a job that works, they pay the bills, they can put a roof over their head and they're satisfied and they carry on.
00:16:41.274 --> 00:16:58.440
But that pain is always there, in the background, maybe only subtly, but it's saying you're trying to get to a place that you always are and you're not looking at it.
00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:05.653
And so the journey we've created is to get somewhere, to be something, to achieve something.
00:17:05.653 --> 00:17:06.416
It's all fool's game.
00:17:06.416 --> 00:17:07.160
We have been fooled.
00:17:07.160 --> 00:17:17.958
We can just be love and happiness and beauty every single day, and people will say to me they'll say, well, you can't just sit around and be love and happy and beautiful.
00:17:17.958 --> 00:17:21.705
What about paying the bills and doing your job and looking after your kids?
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We only ever do that right now, in this day.
00:17:26.094 --> 00:17:30.984
We don't do it tomorrow, we don't do it yesterday, we do it right now.
00:17:30.984 --> 00:17:33.106
Every day is only right now.
00:17:33.106 --> 00:17:35.527
So where do you think you're going?
00:17:35.527 --> 00:17:37.486
We're not going anywhere.
00:17:37.486 --> 00:17:40.769
We're doing what we're doing here and now.
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We're not doing it somewhere else, and we get confused, thinking it's going to take us somewhere.
00:17:46.411 --> 00:17:49.428
It's going to have a benefit for us to reach.
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The benefit is here.
00:17:51.144 --> 00:17:52.388
You already won.
00:17:52.388 --> 00:17:56.951
Everything else is just playing towards something.
00:17:58.221 --> 00:18:03.782
I'm going to be better, I'm going to improve Self-improvement.
00:18:03.782 --> 00:18:05.528
For 100 years has been doing what?
00:18:05.528 --> 00:18:13.744
Taking your story and then, on top of it, saying, ah, I can change and be better, and it doesn't work.
00:18:13.744 --> 00:18:15.068
And it doesn't work.
00:18:15.068 --> 00:18:18.990
It can't work because the story is still there.
00:18:18.990 --> 00:18:24.767
I've written down the goal I'm going to be wealthy and I'm going to take all these steps and do this work.
00:18:24.767 --> 00:18:25.175
I'm going to get this education.
00:18:25.175 --> 00:18:26.568
I've written down the goal I'm going to be wealthy and I'm going to take all these steps and do this work.
00:18:26.568 --> 00:18:28.145
I'm going to get this education.
00:18:28.145 --> 00:18:29.526
I've written every step down.
00:18:29.526 --> 00:18:31.005
I know exactly how I'm going to do it.
00:18:31.005 --> 00:18:32.028
I've got the strategy.
00:18:32.028 --> 00:18:33.664
I've got the tools.
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I'm building the skills.
00:18:35.424 --> 00:18:37.965
I'm driving, I'm grinding every day.
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I'm imagining my future and in the back of my mind is a little voice from my story going, and in the back of my mind is a little voice from my story going you're not going to do it, you're not good enough, you're not going to get there.
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And so we wonder why we struggle and struggle and we fail and we go on, try the next one.
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And every year we've even made up a thing at New Year's to do what?
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To set another goal.
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It's this constant treadmill because we think we're going somewhere.
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We're not going anywhere, we're already here, your whole life is here, it's only here, it exists nowhere else.
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So there's my story.
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Take it away that is a huge story, a very eye-opening story like, yeah, we're writing our stories right now, and this is the midst of time.
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I'm a new grandma, so I see when my granddaughter looks at me and you know she's so innocent and sweet and I'll be getting ready to do a podcast.
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Put my makeup on, I go.
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Are we going?
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to do makeup soon and she'll just kind of smile and giggle and it lightens my heart.
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But you know, when we were younger I didn't have really full memories until maybe like five or six years old, and then from there going, you see how time flies as you get older.
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I'm only 47, but I knew when the forties came I was noticing, hey, things are going faster, this earth is spinning faster.
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Who am I?
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What am I going to do with my time, my purpose?
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And I found out what my purpose was.
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I'm awake, I know and I mean yes, I've told people in the past to create a vision for it, to see what you want and go after it.
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Having that vision but also you got me thinking and I can't believe I'm going to be saying this, but it's the real truth.
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Now, keep Hope Alive.
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What started a year ago, that's great.
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I think I was like at 193 episodes and I was like, wow, okay, I'm getting awarded for relationship, mental health.
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